| |
How To Take Charge Of Your Anger
How To Take Charge
Of Your Anger
by
Daniel Theyagu
There
are many things that occurs which triggers anger. If you are unable to
channel this psychological reaction effectively it will cause you to
take actions or say things that you might regret afterwards. Mr.
Laurence J Peter said: “Speak when you are angry – and you will make the
best speech you’ll ever regret.”
When
you become angry there is a series of cascading reaction in your body
that will make you feel, irritable, frustrated and miserable. However,
all these reactions occur in your mind and the thought processes that
make you feel this way affects your physical actions as well. You need
to realize that as long as these feelings occur in your mind you still
have the ability to take charge of it and manage it in such a way that
you are motivated by the course of action you take. It’s all about
having the choice to do or feel what you want. Dr Wayne Dyer puts it as:
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s
always your choice.”
In
order to allow you to manage your anger here are some tips:
1.
Analyze the situation that makes you angry
This may sound difficult. After all when you are feeling angry – then
you are angry. Right! However, sometimes your anger may be a by-product
of a wrong response that your brain has perceived. Analyze the situation
to see what and why you feel this sense of anger. Anger can be caused by
an external event like you getting stuck in a traffic jam and being
worried that you will be late for an important appointment. It can also
be caused by an internal event like someone said some things about you
that are untrue. You will feel a sense of resentment and anger against
this person and might want to rectify the situation. In both these
situation if you are unable to do anything because it is beyond your
control you feel furious which affects your thinking and your ability to
rationalize. This is when you should channel away your anger. Try to
resolve the situation if you can, if this is not possible then learn to
move on. Lingering on to the situation only going to make matters worst
for you.
2.
Analyze the people you are dealing with
The people in your life can influence you in more ways than you think.
If you are always in the company of people who have the tendency to lose
their temper easily, it will also affect your sense of inner balance.
There is an Arabic proverb which says: “A wise man associating with the
vicious becomes an idiot; a dog traveling with good man becomes a
rational being.” There is a tendency too that when you mingle with
people of this caliber that you might end up feeling angry about things
or other people that is not really your problem.
You
may not be able to avoid these kinds of people always, but you can be
wary of them and keep in mind that you are in charge of your feelings.
Further try to associate with people who are calm and peaceful. Observe
how they are able to manage their anger and see whether you could
emulate this in yourself. John Maxwell epitomized this ability when he
said: “You will acquire the vices and virtues of your closest
associates. The fragrance of their lives will pervade your life.”
3.
Learn to laugh at mistakes you make
Life is never an easy road. You will face obstacles and sometimes fall.
If every time something bad happens you get angry and fall into the “Why
Me!” syndrome you will face difficulties in finding peace with yourself.
The truth of the matter is that whenever you have the “Why Me!” feeling
- note that if it not you who else then? Thomas Fuller said: “None knows
the weight of another’s burden”. This statement reflects that we think
that what has happened to us is unfortunate and unfair. However there
are others who might have suffered a worst consequence. The only way to
manage such a feeling of dread that leads to anger is to learn to laugh
at yourself and the mistakes that you’ve made. The more you are able to
do this the more inner peace you attain and you become better at
handling situations or people who make you angry.
4.
Develop a sense of Self regard
Self regard is your ability to visualize yourself as to who you are and
what you are capable of. If you regard yourself in low esteem then
that’s what is going to happen. On contrary if you hold yourself in high
regard then you will receive the kind of respect that you seek. Having a
good sense of self regard will make you a patient, even-tempered and
effective person. You will become the man or woman who mean what you say
or say what you mean. A lack of self-regard often indicates a feeling of
insecurity and a morbid fear of the unknown and uncertain. This will
prevent you from making decisions or exercising your right when there is
a need to and thus create a latent anger sensation within you. If not
checked this inner feeling will give rise to toxic emotions such as
hate, envy and fury that can cause dire consequences.
You
can increase your sense of self-regard by having more trust in your
abilities and capabilities. Note that the one thing that makes you who
you are and what you want to be is faith. Erich Fromm beautifully puts
it: “Only a person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to
others.”
Dr
Daniel Theyagu is a corporate trainer and seminar leader who has
designed and conducted competency-based training for more than 150
organizations. He is based in Singapore and can be reached at
dtheyagu@singnet.com.sg Website:
http://www.thinklaterally.com/
|
Related Articles
< |
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
1. |
"The Five Don't" you which must pay attention so that social
relation of you walk better
So that social relation walk better, if meeting with neighbour, office
friend or your people who recognize, don't hesitate to address, to
shaking hand, smile
|
|
2. |
how to converse before public?
Many people feel jumpyly, heart palpitate,
confuse and others when given on to duty to converse before throng.
In general this matter because
|
|
3. |
Behavior gamble as soul trouble?
ccording To Robert Carson & James Butcher
(1992), gambling is to install bet in certain occurence or game on
the chance of obtaining big advantage or result.
|
|
4. |
10 Funny Conversation Starters for Every
Situation
Funny conversation starters can
be a risky business, but they can also add interest and sparkle to
your conversations. People like, listen to and trust people who make
them laugh.
|
|
5. |
Anger Control - How To Recognise Anger
Triggers
Uncontrolled anger can cause a lot of
damage. It can hurt not only person who is angry, but also other
people they care about. Relationships with partners, children and
work colleagues can suffer.
|
|
6. |
Anger In The Emotional GateKeeper
Anger
is our emotional gatekeeper and if used effectively it will provide us
with the ability to interact with the world fully aware of when our
emotional gates should remain open and when to keep them closed.
|
|
7. |
Anger, Anger Everywhere
Well, It Seems Like That Sometimes
I was driving along, minding my own
business, when the man in the pickup in the next lane started
honking, waving his hand and giving me that middle finger salute.
|
|
8. |
How Do I Control My Anger?
Feelings, like anger,
are something that happen because of how you choose to react to whatever
is going on around you.
|
|
9. |
How to Forgive Your Enemies
Of course it's very hard to forgive
others when we are hurt; however, we must understand that we
inherently possess a wild and evil conscience that causes craziness.
|
|
10. |
How To Keep Your "Cool " When You're About To
Explode
Exasperation can be the impetus for
mean-spirited, disrespectful communication. After what we experience
as a prolonged period of patience, we can sometimes reach that
breaking point
|
|
11. |
How To Manage Anger In Other People
Your ability to
manage the anger of others will alleviate you to a higher level of
respect as people in your life will see you as a rational and reasonable
person and someone whom they can trust.
|
|
12. |
How to Stay Cool-Tempered
Anger Management is not
Anger Control. It is about how you channel this power emotion into a
more constructive avenue. There is good anger and bad anger.
|
|
13. |
How To Take Charge Of Your Anger
There are many things that
occurs which triggers anger. If you are unable to channel this
psychological reaction effectively it will cause you to take actions
or say things that you might regret afterwards.
|
|
14. |
How To Use Anger Management Soundtracks To
Increase Anger Control Skills
The use of sounds and
music to change a mood or induce a feeling is common to all human
cultures. Sounds can help to soothe and calm or they can excite and
arouse.
|
|
15. |
Perception and Anger
How can we educate
ourselves on how to change a belief, or how to feel differently about an
event or stop our judgmental thoughts?
|
|
16. |
Self Help Anger Management
Anger management arises for a
number of reasons for many people at some time in their lives. It is
sometimes as a result of stress that occurs due to a family or
professional situation that can pass quickly.
|
|
17. |
Six Tips To Deal With Your Anger
If you think that you never
have a hot temper, you may want to read this. Every person has hot
temper. Only most of us have it hidden in our subconscious mind.
|
|
18. |
Take Control of Your Anger
All of us at some time or other will
have the odd angry outburst, as emotions run high it is quite normal
to show anger. However, for some people anger is a controlling
factor in their lives.
|
|
19. |
When Tempers Flare - Five Tips to Manage Your
Anger in the Heat of the Moment
Emotions happen. We can, however, make
choices about how we manage them. If you consider emotions as
energy, you can begin to reframe the notion
|
|
20. |
Psychological Identity
and Identity Crisis
Brad is a very happy and successful person; he has a
big salary, his wife loves him, and he has accomplished most of what
he set out to achieve in life.
|
|
My
Affiliates |
|
. |
|
|
|
. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
 |
 |
|
. |
|
 |
|
. |
|
|
|
|
|
. |
|
Bookmark
and
Share
my
www.psychologyagain.com
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Social Psychology
This
book features sociology's contribution to social psychology, and
involves the inclusion of symbolic interactionism—the most important
sociological theory in the field. Each chapter is written to illustrate
how other people influence our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Specific chapter topics include Socialization, The Self, Person
Perception, Attitudes and Attitude Change, Interpersonal Relationships,
Altruism and Moral Development, Aggression, Prejudice, Groups and
Organizations, and Collective Behavior and Social Movements. For a
comprehensive understanding of how other people influence our thoughts,
feelings, and behaviors.
|
|
 |
Getting Anger Under Control
Whether horrific enough to grab headlines or minor enough
to cause arguments with family and friends, uncontrolled anger steals
peace, joy, and trust. Here, readers get clear, biblical methods for
keeping anger in its place.
|
|
 |
Getting Control of Your Anger
"Anger is one of the most toxic emotions for your heart.
Dr. Allan’s program can help stop the cycle of destructive anger. Highly
recommended."--Dean Ornish, M.D., Author, Dr. Dean Ornish’s Program for
Reversing Heart Disease and Founder and President, Preventive Medicine
Research Institute Break the hold anger has on your life Anger, like
fear, is a powerful survival tool that has evolved over countless
millennia. But when we allow anger to rule our day-to-day lives, it
undermines our health, alienates loved ones, and ruins our chances for a
happy, healthy life. Now, Getting Control of Your Anger helps adults who
have "inherited" destructive anger patterns learn constructive ways to
express themselves and get their needs met. Focusing on breaking the
cycle of anger in yourself and your family, Dr. Robert Allan helps you
discover the reasons for your anger and find more effective ways to get
your core needs met. With Getting Control of Your Anger you'll learn to:
Get at the root of your anger and take control of it without gimmicks,
drugs, or psychoanalysis Improve your relationships with your loved
ones, friends, and coworkers Break the intergenerational cycle of anger
in your family and avoid passing destructive behavior patterns down to
your children Safeguard your health and reduce your risk for
cardiovascular disease and a host of anger-related illnesses
|
|
 |
The Anger Control Workbook
The ever-escalating costs of anger are well documented:
sabotaging careers, alienating friends and family, triggering illness,
causing bodily harm. Written by two well-regarded experts in the field,
The Anger Control Workbook introduces a new and radically simplified
approach to anger control. Step-by-step exercises will aid readers in
identifying, understanding, responding to, and ultimately coping with
their hostile feelings. "Half the anger battle can be won by simply
learning to relax the physical tension that develops in provocative
situations. It's a proven fact that if you can relax your body, and keep
it relaxed, it's almost impossible to get angry. Combating stress using
the skills you're about to learn can help you calm down, think clearly,
and handle any situation in an effective, positive way." - from the book
|
|
 |
Social Psychology and Human Nature
You are a member of a social
world on a planet containing about 7 billion people. This social world
is filled with paradox, mystery, suspense, and outright absurdity.
Explore how social psychology can help you make sense of your own social
world with this
|
Take Control Of Your Anger And Give Diplomacy A Chance
Take Control Of Your Anger And Give Diplomacy A Chance
by Joe Amato Published in 2004 by Vantage Pr
Anger Control: Learn How to Control Your Anger and Don't Let It Control You
 Anger is a very strong emotion. If you know how to
control it, there can actually be times when it is useful. But most of
the time it will injure you and hurt others....
Anger Control
Become a Master of Self-Control: Meet Melly, Her Color Is Mad
Don''t Rant & Rave on Wednesdays!: The Children''s Anger-Control Book
 Discusses the causes and effects of anger and provides
advice on how to control and channel it
The Science of Social Influence (Frontiers of Social Psychology)
The
contributions to this volume capture the thrill of current work on
social influence, as well as providing a tutorial on the scientific and
technical aspects of this research. The volume teaches the student to·
Learn how to conduct lab, field and case research on social influence
through example by leading researchers· Find out about the latest
discoveries including the status of research on every eighty social
influence tactics, dissonance theory, conformity, and resistance to
influence· Discover how seemingly complex issues such as power, rumors,
group and minority influence and norms can be investigated using the
scientific method· Apply knowledge to current influence campaigns to
find out what works and does not.The Science of Social Influence is the
perfect core or complementary text for advanced undergraduate or
graduate students in courses such as Attitudes and Attitude Change,
Communications, Research Methods and, of course, Social Influence.
A Programmed Course in Conflict-Resolution and Anger Control
This
manual is designed to help people think rationally about provocations
and conflict situations. It defines concepts that help the reader think
more effectively about the sorts of situations that often trigger rage
or violence. Through the exercises prescribed and modeled here, the
reader can build up habits of calm response to provocations and
conflicts. The book is divided into several hundred sections of around a
hundred words, with each followed by a comprehension question; the
format is meant to lend itself maximally to a tutoring environment.
|
|
