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Anger, Anger Everywhere Well,
It Seems Like That Sometimes
Anger, Anger
Everywhere Well, It Seems Like That Sometimes
by Irene Conlan
I was driving along,
minding my own business, when the man in the pickup in the next lane
started honking, waving his hand and giving me that middle finger
salute. He pulled in front of me and continued gesturing for the block
before I made my turn. I had absolutely no idea what I had done to send
him into such a rage, and I was really grateful that he didn’t follow me
when I turned.
The next day I was in
a department store waiting for my turn with the cashier. All of a sudden
the woman in front of me started yelling about the long wait. At the top
of her voice she berated the cashier, the store, the merchandise and the
other customers. She got in line just before I did and we had waited all
of three minutes. Her fuse had become very short and someone unknowingly
lit it.
I watched a mother and
her small son in the grocery store one day, thinking how cute and well
behaved he was. I saw him point at some cereal and ask his mom if he
could have it. She reached down, jerked him around, gave him a swat on
the arm and yelled at him for asking. Her voice became shrill, her face
red and angry, and she looked embarrassed when she saw me watching. She
reached down and gave him a loving pat and put the cereal in the cart.
Something of an over reaction? Probably.
Each was out of
control. Each seemed to have passed the breaking point. Each lashed out
at the person closest to them at the moment. These are not uncommon
scenes.
So what’s going on?
Many people are over committed, overwhelmed and overstressed and have
few coping skills to help them deal with it. Their self esteem may be at
an all time low. They are working harder and longer hours to make ends
meet and their spouse is probably doing the same. As money gets tighter
and hours get longer, we grow more tired and esteem gets lower, the fuse
grows shorter and shorter and an explosion or a series of explosions
ensues.
I know this. I used to
be there. As I reflect on what changed between then and now I am aware
of some things I learned and did that made the change. I’ll list them
here and we’ll talk about them a bit.
-
I changed from being
religious to being spiritual and I learned to manage my own energy.
This means that I took responsibility for my own soul and learned what
I believe as opposed to what I was told I must believe.
-
I began the practice
of meditation. The longer I practice daily meditation the easier it is
to cope with the stresses in my life. I wish I could say that I’m
never angry. Actually, a little anger is healthy. What I can
say is that my fuse is much longer and I recover more quickly. I look
forward to silencing my mind as I prepare for each new day.
-
Self hypnosis - a
sister to meditation. Self-hypnosis helps me stay calm, in control,
and more sensitive to the needs of others. I use it as a stress
management tool and as a means to enhance creativity.
-
I have begun to
think about me and what I need to be healthy physically, emotionally
and spiritually. Most of my life has been spent on helping everyone
around me to the detriment of my own health and well being. Now I
understand that if I’m not healthy and balanced I can be of little
assistance to others who need help.
-
Improved self
esteem. How? This is not a recommendation but a divorce from someone
who was the constant critic helped me regain a love of who I am.
-
Work that gives me
great joy. I love doing what I do. I help others in hypnotherapy, I
help my son with his business and I’m developing my own blog.
-
I am learning to
play again, motivated by a 3 year old who is in constant and almost
always joyful motion.
Do I get angry? Of
course. But it’s no longer a constant state of mind. Try it. You might
like it.
Irene Conlan has a
masters degree in nursing, a doctoral degree in metaphysics, is a
certified hypnotherapist and an ordained minister. she practices
holistic hypnotherapy and officiates at weddings in Scottsdale, AZ.
Irene can be found at
http://www.theselfimprovementblog.com/
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